tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-105640162012-02-15T23:03:31.558-08:00Random Rambling by Paul, Purveyor of Drunken Love Songs, of Paul and the Violent FarmersViolent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.comBlogger1381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-36198851529142032482009-02-09T05:55:00.000-08:002009-02-09T05:58:33.285-08:00

For some reason jagua responded to an older post, so I'm reprinting it hereWednesday, March 08, 2006Chinese, Blacks, and Irish Unite! What do Chinese-Americans and Irish-Americans have in common? The obvious answer is their love of beer. Paul is a drinker of the Asian Persuasion while I imbibe in the Style of the Emerald Isle. Aside from our mutual love of intoxicants, our forefathers shared a

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-25097077271433208712008-12-22T06:57:00.000-08:002008-12-22T07:45:24.973-08:00

Wayne Newton was never in Canada in 1961. So it would appear impossible that he could have conceived KD Lang- the Canadian born songstress who looks eerily similar to the Vegas icon, as per Paulie's theory. However, there is another possibility to consider. Where was Lang's mother in February, 1961? If KD was born on November 2nd, then she was likely conceived on or around February 2nd. Where

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-87085505355216581572008-12-18T11:35:00.000-08:002008-12-18T13:11:26.611-08:00

A couple of months ago while channel surfing, I happened upon a documentary on Wayne Newton. The odd thing (besides the fact that I stopped on a Wayne Newton Documentary)is that up until about 5 minutes before it was over I thought I was watching a special on KD Lang. The resemblance was uncanny. The hair, the face, the posture, the breasts it was all amazingly eerie. Could it be? Was I the only

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-72168064494582643622008-10-06T07:20:00.000-07:002008-10-06T07:24:50.374-07:00

This is a video from earlier this year during March Madness. After the video there are some good outtakes worth watching too.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-64927742894641306172008-07-03T12:26:00.000-07:002008-07-03T12:27:31.413-07:00

I pooped Ramen today.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-35260366406653916962008-07-01T10:56:00.000-07:002008-07-01T11:10:27.220-07:00

I pooped this weekend!!!Sunday was the Viking Queens birthday, so I got off the diet for a meal. I had a cheeseburger at the Westport Flea Market, and it was the best f-in cheeseburger I've ever eaten. I'm pretty sure whatever I ate would have been the best thing I'd ever eaten after 5 days of Ramen.Anyway I'm back on the Ramen again. I'm feeling great and can't wait till dinner so I can eat some

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-27309463519953261412008-06-27T13:26:00.000-07:002008-06-27T13:28:37.411-07:00

I have located Ramen priced at $2.25 for 12. For the record, my poop schedule is still normal, 17 times a day.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15274880982457853387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-91363603937516056592008-06-27T10:46:00.000-07:002008-06-27T11:28:10.078-07:00

I weighed myself today. I was tipping the scale at a Rubenesque 185. I weighed yesterday and I was at 200. I've lost 15 pounds in one day!!! I think I need to get a new scale.Breakfast:one packet of Ramen with 1/2 a flavor packet(Beef): $.09- 380 caloriesone Diet Soda: $.60- 0 caloriesLunch:one packet of Ramen no flavor pack: $.09- 380 CALORIES1/3 pound ground beef: $.75- 518 caloriescream of

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-65358019351100659182008-06-26T10:47:00.000-07:002008-06-26T11:36:20.720-07:00

Ramen has been a staple of college students for years. It's so cheap, and oh so good. I think I can even remember eating a Ramen sandwich once when I was in college. Ramen was brought to America in 1972, the same year I was born, and it's also Asian. Destiny is the only word that can describe my kinship with Ramen.Yesterday I overheard a phone conversation between Josh the Viking and his soon to

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-44955105231891388222008-05-14T21:32:00.000-07:002008-05-14T21:37:38.054-07:00

Crying at Your Feet (written by Paul Shields and Travis Naughton. Copyright 2008)Why don't you want me here,Why don't you seem to care,I spent the better part of a year,Tracking you down with the help of a private eye and some friends of mine that will do anything for a dime bag,Why don't you want me here?I thought that we were friends,I guess I don't understand,I gave you my heart & soul and

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-84711024835246743772008-03-26T13:56:00.000-07:002008-03-26T14:01:43.395-07:00

Here is a shot of my first album cover. I went with the "album cover first and then I'll make a CD" move. If you go to my MYSPACE, you can see some more shots from the photo shoot.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-2306500938995798812008-03-13T20:42:00.000-07:002008-03-13T20:46:17.593-07:00

PAUL & THE VIOLENT FARMERSAt SORANO’s8:00 pm419 Southwest Ward RdLee’s Summit, MOCome dressed in your finest 80’s gear for Aimee’s B-Day BashI’ll be drunk

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-62812478509816051662007-09-04T13:26:00.000-07:002007-09-04T13:44:32.854-07:00

This was an actual article writen for a dating web site, that was sent to me a while back. I decided to put this to the test and my results follow the article."Dating Tips of the Week" FOR March 26, 2000How to Meet and Attract Single Women with the "Puppet Method"This is probably the craziest dating tip of the week I've ever written. And please don't think I've lost my mind because of what I'm

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-14909628628346862652007-07-13T13:11:00.000-07:002007-07-13T13:14:39.616-07:00

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-26477993840250167722007-06-27T13:59:00.000-07:002007-06-27T14:26:36.120-07:00

Ok, my Haiku contest didn't go so well, and your winner is:"Blog Daddy"This is mainly due to the fact that he is the only one besides me that entered. Congratulations Blog Daddy you out Haikued me and for your prize you will receive one of the brand new "Paul & The Violent Farmers" T-Shirts, which brings me to my next contest: "Write the caption for the new Paul & the Violent Farmers contest"I

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-65594380723940055242007-05-29T20:54:00.000-07:002007-05-29T21:08:10.976-07:00

Twenty-TwoLindsay Lohan isAn obnoxious, drunken slut.I think I like that.Twenty-ThreeBrittney Freakin' SpearsIs a bald, obnoxious slut.I'm not into that.Twenty-FourParis Hilton isA tall, drunk, obnoxious slut.That sounds about right!

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-6362066576913398712007-05-15T16:37:00.000-07:002007-05-15T16:42:46.447-07:00

TwentyA word of adviceDo NOT ever let a goatBelch straight in your faceTwenty-OneI'm sure that SatanIs having a lot of funWith Jerry Falwell

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-11945278664713250692007-05-10T13:00:00.000-07:002007-05-10T13:21:49.032-07:00

EightImus in the morntelling it like it is to nappy headed hosPVFNineFat cops and hundreds of cats. The things you see whilecleaning up meth labsPVFTenBraided Mohawk lovesqueaky voiced hula dancervote for SanjiaPVFElevenIf I were real oldI'd sit and remember whencheese was called butterPVFTwelveClad in orange jumpsuitcatwalking down the lunch linework it Miss HiltonPVFThirteenRain glistens off

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-2822527246860572007-05-03T16:29:00.000-07:002007-05-03T16:33:59.734-07:00

SixChugging down a beer now only an empty glasstears come to my eyePVFSevenI wear husky pantswith an elastic waistbandall for the ladiesPVF

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-34507540579077661372007-05-01T19:38:00.000-07:002007-05-01T20:04:42.712-07:00

EightSamuel AdamsBrews a pretty tasty beerFor a dead personNineI just watched a showCalled "World's Most Beautiful Twins"I'm married to oneTenPaul needs to appearOn the "Bob and Tom Show" soonHe's their cup of teaElevenAccording to Bill"They say that a cucumberMakes the best pickle."TwelveThings I've done while drunk:Once, I lost a gamble fartI hate losing those.ThirteenYou can call me "Coach"My

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-67090351641910105842007-05-01T13:23:00.000-07:002007-05-01T13:26:21.896-07:00

FiveHunchbacked and cross eyednot enough booze in the worldto drink you prettyPVF

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-10173921447107234032007-04-30T13:35:00.000-07:002007-04-30T13:56:56.821-07:00

Drunken Haiku RedoTwo Last night I dreamt Ihad balloons for feet, I thinkI'm drinking to muchPVFThreeBlog Daddy chimes inbetween fuel efficient carsand Asian babiesPVFFourfat guy in a suittwo times to small, bending downand letting er ripPVF

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-90896274593814116152007-04-27T10:38:00.000-07:002007-04-27T12:43:28.754-07:00

Ok I have a request for a resurrection of the drunken Haiku contest. This time around it's gonna go a little different. I am going to attempt to write a drunken Haiku a day for one year- That's 365 Drunken Haiku total. You may recall me telling you about my last attempt at a Haiku a day with my friend Amy, but for those who weren't on the Violent Farmer band wagon yet here is my original post:

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1165618361872642822006-12-08T14:38:00.000-08:002006-12-08T14:52:41.943-08:00

THE WORLD SERIES OF POP CULTURE 2007CONTESTANT APPLICATIONTAKE YOUR TIME & ANSWER HONESTLY, COMPLETELY and TYPE/PRINT CLEARLYNAME: Paul ShieldsAGE: 34BIRTHDATE: 7-29-1972COLLEGE ATTENDED/ING: Central Missouri State UniversityCOLLEGE MAJOR: The LadiesMARITAL STATUS: Single (please let the ladies know)OCCUPATION: Singing ComedianDESCRIBE YOUR JOB – I perform drunken love songs that flippin

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1164985334499497722006-12-01T06:34:00.000-08:002006-12-01T07:02:14.636-08:00

My roommate Josh, Webmistress Aimee, and yours truly, have been accepted to compete in VH1's Pop Culture World Series!!! We travel to the Windy City on the weekend of February 3rd to kick some pop culture asses.Now I need your help. Our original name was going to be "A Chinese Viking Named Aimee", but the name axers at VH1 rejected it, so they went with our back up "Domestic Blend". I think

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1159114037258954862006-09-24T09:04:00.000-07:002006-09-24T09:07:17.300-07:00

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1158511032287394742006-09-17T09:11:00.000-07:002006-09-17T09:37:12.976-07:00

"Earth calling Paul. Come in, Paul. Do you copy?" (Silence.) "Violent Farmer this is Houston, we're having a hard time maintaining contact. Do you read us? Over." (Silence.)"Sir, we haven't received any communications from the Violent Farmer in quite some time. We think we may have lost 'em.""Dammit, Jim I don't want to hear that kind of talk. Keep trying. I'm not ready to tell that boy's

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1156828420701806152006-08-28T22:11:00.000-07:002006-08-28T22:13:40.720-07:00

I posted again on my blog, and by the way Paul, if I ever catch you cheating on me with Lance Bass, I will tear up you heart, no strings attached! No wait, I want you back!!!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15274880982457853387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1155488604881024892006-08-13T09:12:00.000-07:002006-08-13T10:03:25.010-07:00

The phone doesn't usually ring at our house at 2:00 in the morning. Whenever it does, it is almost always an intoxicated friend of mine trying in a pathetic way to convince me and himself that his bachelor ways are still the preferred lifestyle of choice. Last night was no exception. However, this particular caller was the most pathetic of them all.None other than Paulie the Violent Farmer

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1154066356589842432006-07-27T22:58:00.000-07:002006-07-27T22:59:16.606-07:00

Lance Bass is Gay

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1153849672940444522006-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:002006-07-26T06:10:26.560-07:00

Saturday is my birthday. I'm turning 34 years of age. It doesn't seem like a long time, but when I look back I realize that I've learned a lot, so I thought I'd share with you some of the things I've learned in my almost 34 years.Name: Paul ShieldsOccupation: Singing Hazardous Waste Working ComedianBorn: 7-29-1972What I've Learned:Don't go on a drunken tree climbing spreeDo buy AFLAC insurance in

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1151431082778006282006-06-27T10:30:00.000-07:002006-06-27T10:58:02.823-07:00

So last night I had some major breath issues. I mean it was horrible. Apparently some time yesterday I ate a dead goat and it was coming back to haunt me. It wouldn't have been that bad if I would have been able to contain the beast with a stick of gum, but that Huba Bubba didn't even put a dent in it. I tried everything- gum, mints, brushing, flossing, but nothing would cut it. So I said screw

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1150234070466580342006-06-13T14:27:00.000-07:002006-06-13T14:27:50.490-07:00

I think I speak for both B-Daddy and myself when I say, "Where the hell is my Teee-shurt??"

jagua piruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12866004968799940012noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1150084287529310692006-06-11T20:17:00.000-07:002006-06-11T20:55:10.510-07:00

Shanghi, China (Associated Press)- Singer/Songwriter/Illegal Immigrant Paul Shields has reportedly been deported by the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service. According to unverified accounts by people closely associated with the Sino-Celtic performer, Shields was "outed" by a group of Amish farmers who were reportedly upset by what they called "A slanderous account" of an incident

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1148151052945572062006-05-20T11:38:00.000-07:002006-05-20T11:50:52.990-07:00

When Paulie's gig was cancelled due to Chamber of Commerce-perfect weather, the Violent Farmer said that he still wanted to get together. I pondered our options and started to run out of ideas when it hit me: What do people from Hannibal, Troy, and any other small town in Missouri do when they are bored? Burn shit and drink beer! So it was decided- we would all sit around a campfire at my

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1146929854271518442006-05-06T08:15:00.000-07:002006-05-06T08:37:34.296-07:00

Since the theme of this Blog is inebriation, I thought I would share with you my plans for my last weekend before venturing back into the world of employment. I, along with my good friends Grant, John, and Bill, will be doing our best to drain an eight gallon keg this evening. Our wives will be allowed to babysit the children (and us) instead of being forced to consume said intoxicants. Bill

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1145295692517930982006-04-17T10:26:00.000-07:002006-04-17T10:41:32.536-07:00

OK, I have a new gig on Friday, May 12th at the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, MO.Like last time, this one will be on the patio so it's WEATHER PERMITTING. Hopefully I have better luck with the rain this time.I'm scheduled to play at 9:00 til 10:00 and then again around 10:30 til 12:00. That's a lot of time for me to cover, and I was hoping maybe Jigua Piru was off that night and possibly able

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1145032125830575472006-04-14T08:41:00.000-07:002006-04-14T09:28:45.933-07:00

Reuters- Paul Shields, a singer/songwriter/comedian/Asian famous for performing raunchy and uproarious ballads often with homoerotic themes has been missing since St. Patrick's Day/Aimeefest, according to a statement released today by his manager. Talent agent Travis "Blog Daddy" Naughton told the news service that his client has not been heard from since a night of revelry that occurred nearly

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1143233525278994392006-03-24T12:30:00.000-08:002006-03-24T12:52:05.310-08:00

As Paul & The Violent Farmers' manager and promoter, I have begun a campaign that will launch the career of our favorite Farmer into the laugh-o-sphere. I call it the "2006 I Wrote This When I Was Drunk World Tour". I have narrowed the list of venues in Columbia that are capable of showcasing Paul's emmense talent to eight. Obviously, the content of Paul's material makes it very important to

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1142620820149718532006-03-17T10:21:00.000-08:002006-03-17T10:40:20.186-08:00

I thought someone should set the bar for others to reach for in the St. Paddy's/Aimeefest Scavenger Hunt. Here is my effort (before even heading to the bars.)1. Pack of mints (in hand).2. Plunger3. Button (Says "Happy St. Patty's Day" instead of "Kiss Me I'm Irish")4. I.D. (in hand) proving my last name is Irish (Naughton was Mac Naughton in the old country.)5. Camoflage bandana6. Eye patch7.

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1142532531960776802006-03-16T10:03:00.000-08:002006-03-16T10:08:52.016-08:00

Here is the scavenger Hunt list so far. Final plea for more ideasMiscellaneouspack of mintsplungerwallet with a chainanything with "Git er Done"picture of a monkey"Kiss Me I'm Irish" buttonCondomID RequiredIrish nameporno/ stripper namebirthday todayAppearancesgreen make-upgreen jewelryunibrowcomb-over/ toupeetattoo of someone's nametattoo of an animalmulletAttirecamouflageeye patchgreen

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1142267004459592232006-03-13T08:06:00.000-08:002006-03-15T08:39:24.276-08:00

As I've mentioned in previous posts Friday is not only St. Patty's day, but also the Aimsters B-Day. Last year she was toast drunk by 9:00, and I hope to help keep with that tradition again this year. As normal we will be bar hopping, but this year I think we are going to put a little twist on the festivities, in the form of a "Drunken Bar Hopping Scavenger Hunt".At each bar we are going to be

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1141877430165752132006-03-08T19:30:00.000-08:002006-03-08T20:10:30.200-08:00

What do Chinese-Americans and Irish-Americans have in common? The obvious answer is their love of beer. Paul is a drinker of the Asian Persuasion while I imbibe in the Style of the Emerald Isle. Aside from our mutual love of intoxicants, our forefathers shared a common past in the history of America. As the slavery of African-Americans was outlawed, the railroad industry was being born.

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1141065427435229552006-02-27T10:33:00.000-08:002006-02-27T10:37:07.436-08:00

I finally completed the "Boots Are Made for Walking , Annie Lennox Cult" story, but for some reason it showed up before Aimees part 1.5. So you have to go back two post to read it.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1140578553078191872006-02-23T19:03:00.000-08:002006-03-01T09:06:38.170-08:00

Ok this is part two so make sure you read the previous post first, or you may be a little lost. You know what screw it, I experienced the story and I'm still lost just keep on reading. Also another warning, there is a good chance that this story is going to end up being pretty damn anti-climactic.Like I said before I was drunk, and this old guy has just invited us into his "Magic Room". All of

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1140669104661743572006-02-22T20:11:00.000-08:002006-02-22T20:31:44.696-08:00

Since Paul is cruel and has decided to withhold the rest of his story, and since I just took my last vicoden in celebration of my recovery from sinus surgery, and my having to go back to work tomorrow (yes, I know this is the longest, run-on sentence of all times), I thought I'd write what I think is the ending to his story..... The old guy excuses himself for a moment, and says that Clarice (the

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1140459481908539902006-02-20T09:41:00.000-08:002006-02-20T18:44:44.386-08:00

Have any of you guys ever been abducted by a cult? I'm just asking because I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me Saturday night. I can't say for certain that it was a cult, so I'll just spin my tale and let you decide (this is a long story so I'm going to make it into a two parter because I'm a slow typer, hope you don't mind)It was Saturday night and I was drunk.I was at one of the local

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1140208433579939322006-02-17T12:29:00.000-08:002006-02-17T12:33:53.606-08:00

Sorry, I was slacking on the job. This weeks Haiku winner is Jagua Piru for his ode to beaver pelt mullets.... Jagua, either email me or Paul and let me know what size shirt (along with color and what you want it to say on the back). I hope to make shirts the first of next week. If you want to keep up the haiku contest thing, you pick the topic....if not, then just post some funny crap on here,

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1140114723804350822006-02-16T10:17:00.000-08:002006-02-16T10:32:03.843-08:00

Have you guys checked out my main website lately? That old one was getting a little boring, so the Aimster gave it a new look for me. She even put up some new pics (Seamhead I think you are actually in a couple). Give it a look and let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear 'em.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1139863123627511782006-02-13T12:31:00.000-08:002006-02-14T23:28:13.933-08:00

With Valentine's Day upon us I just thought that you men readers would enjoy a new holiday, just for you, that I was "educated" about today. It's on March 14th, which means celebrations won't interfere with your St. Patrick's Day festivities. I'll give you a great website to check out, because I know that I'd miss some important details if I told you about it myself. Don't forget to mark it on

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1139419535300005802006-02-08T08:59:00.000-08:002006-02-08T09:25:35.330-08:00

Sweet Keggerator,Like a refrigerator,Except beer-ier.Congrats Blog Daddy!I will make you the Violent Farmers shirt of your choice. You can get my email info from Paul or go to his website and it's on there as well. Since you won, you also get to pick the next haiku topic....if you decide to continue the contest. (I will continue to pick winners and make the t-shirts.)

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1138981327750215182006-02-03T07:25:00.000-08:002006-02-03T08:08:42.330-08:00

It's finally up. If you click on "samples of my tunes" in the links section of the blog and your not still dialing up, you should be able to listen to the very first drunken contribution song "No Wonder Your Dad Wears an Eye Patch".Also I have a gig at the Trouser Mouse in Blue Springs, MO on 2-11-6. Not sure what time yet but I'll keep you up to date (It will definitely be in the evening)Also,

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1138820917748918562006-02-01T10:31:00.000-08:002006-02-01T11:08:38.006-08:00

Alright, since my last post went over like a lead balloon, I think I'll try again. :) I am using my blogging powers to bring back the Haiku Contest. Just so we can all get warmed up let's start with the best drunken haiku. I will make the person that wins a Paul & The Violent Farmers t-shirt. I will even customize it for you...and you'll actually get it, unlike what happens when Paul has contests

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1138767131051470512006-01-31T20:10:00.000-08:002006-01-31T20:13:06.346-08:00

Check out my blog for a new post and my first contest. A prize is involved!!!http://laughbases.blogspot.com/

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15274880982457853387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1138426251028218622006-01-27T20:43:00.000-08:002006-01-27T21:30:51.066-08:00

Well, I was told that since I was given the power to blog that I should post something interesting. After tossing around many topics including the big penis/cavernous vagina debate; how Dancing/Skating with the Stars is racist because within one week they managed to kick off Todd Bridges and Master P (watch out Jerry Rice, you're next); and whether or not Kansas City needs a new stadium....it

~~Aimee~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/07698408221168271097noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1138400651297019742006-01-27T14:04:00.000-08:002006-01-27T14:24:11.320-08:00

This is a really small pic of me at a gig I had in the mighty town of Oak Grove last Saturday.It was the first one I've done with my new guitar, so I was kind of excited until I got there and they didn't have the right equipment to let me plug in, so I didn't get to display the whole electric side of the new Martin.I did play "No wonder your dad wears an eye patch" for the first time in public.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1137463982669692912006-01-16T17:23:00.000-08:002006-01-16T18:26:58.476-08:00

What the hell is happening? The other day I saw a commercial for a new reality series. Personally I am a fan of reality TV shows. Where else am I going to have the chance to see Mini Me standing on his motorized chair bare ass naked pissing in a corner after Peter Brady got him all drunked up on two glasses of wine. That's just great TV, I don't care who you are. But I was watching Football

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1137444358473201482006-01-16T12:21:00.000-08:002006-01-16T12:45:58.496-08:00

Paul Shields, meth lab cleaner-upper. Paul Shields, entertainer. Which do you think sounds more appealing for our favorite Violent Farmer? Unless he can make a living singing his songs, Paulie will be forced to earn his living by cleaning up meth labs. He isn't sure if he will be disposing of the labs after the police discover them in raids or if he will be picking up pieces of them after the

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1136831380712227372006-01-09T10:28:00.000-08:002006-01-10T10:30:22.223-08:00

Ok, my first attempt at meeting someone new didn't work as smoothly as I had planned.On New Years Eve I took my first stab at fulfilling my new Years resolutions. There was this extremely attractive gal (you may have to get used to most of my reports starting this way) that appeared to be sitting alone for most of the night. I took it upon myself to make this girl my first resolution victim.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1136531990673222952006-01-05T22:31:00.000-08:002006-01-05T23:19:50.703-08:00

(AP) Blue Springs, MO- Singer/songwriter/comedian Paul Shields has not been seen or heard from by the fans of his world famous blog "I Wrote This When I Was Drunk" since late 2005, sources tell the Associated Press. Shields, who's legend was built upon fights with the Amish, infatuations with midgets, and oral sex with truck drivers while under the influence of Tequilla, the national drink of his

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1135963701258357562005-12-30T09:18:00.000-08:002005-12-30T09:28:21.280-08:00

To honor the spirit of the title of this blog, I have come up with an "I Wrote This When I Was Drunk on New Year's Eve" essay contest. If you can recall any of the events of your New Year's celebration, write about it and submit it for Paulie's amusement. If you can't recall anything, you can either post a copy of the police report or make something up. Paul will pick the winner but will NOT

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1135376420034547882005-12-23T14:01:00.000-08:002005-12-23T14:20:20.066-08:00

Happy Holidays, whichever one you observe. In this age of political correctness, I find an ever increasing attraction to Frank Costanza's home-made holiday, Festivus. "A Festivus for the rest of us!" Frank would proclaim. Since Seamhead has been mistaken for George Costanza on occasion, he probably already celebrates the holiday. With the ceremonial "Airing of Grievances" and "Feats of Strength",

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1135190065774533882005-12-21T10:12:00.000-08:002005-12-21T10:34:25.796-08:00

As if I had been knighted by the Queen of England herself, Paul invited me to become a contributor to his blog. "It will be my distinct honor so serve you, your Majesty," I said to her. She was not a pretty woman, but I felt oddly attracted to her none the less. It did seem strange that she looked Chinese, and had a goatee; but then again I had been drinking for quite a while. We both had.

BlogDaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17780147599353731249noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1135103217794899532005-12-20T10:07:00.000-08:002005-12-20T10:26:57.853-08:00

I have a confession. I haven't gotten drunk in a while. I think this has definitely put a damper on the creative spot in my brain, so I have decided to take an idea from Travis, and do a Blog New Years Resolution.So here it is:1) I resolve to get drunk2) I also resolve to meet one new person while I'm drunk and write about them on the blog at least once a week.These may sound like stupid

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1133799823633122342005-12-05T08:07:00.000-08:002005-12-05T08:23:43.666-08:00

It's done. I've put all the ideas together and add some of my own and have completed the Nipple song. As you all know I'm Irish, so I made it into a kind of Irish drinking song, so when your reading it pick up a beer and sway and you will get the basic idea. I am trying to get it recorded this week, and I will let you know when I post it on my MYSPACE site so you can all hear how it sounds. I

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1132770772804982172005-11-23T10:02:00.000-08:002005-11-23T10:32:52.836-08:00

I was just asked by someone to write a song about her moms extremely large nipples.I immediately started thinking the exact same thing you guys are- "Is your mom single?"Apparently the mom nipples are large in length not diameter, with a span of maybe an inch and a half. At first I thought it was kind of weird that she had this fascination with her moms body parts, then I thought "Hey that's kind

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1132624135055051282005-11-21T17:36:00.000-08:002005-11-21T17:48:55.100-08:00

I got numorous request to get some songs up on the net so people could hear 'em , and what do I get? Zippo- I got nothing- No responses- Nothing.I need a drink.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1132322353616248952005-11-18T05:55:00.000-08:002005-11-18T06:01:15.216-08:00

"You're so cute when you're slurring your speech, but they're closing the bar and they want us to leave."Death Cab For Cutie- Crooked Teeth

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1132145659793507522005-11-16T04:51:00.000-08:002005-11-16T19:39:59.106-08:00

Ok I have joined the My Space crowd.I did this because it was the easiest way I could find to get a couple of my songs up on the net.I'm not very good with this computer stuff so I haven't got it linked up yet, but if you go to this website I'm under Paul & The Violent Farmers (or you can probably find me under Paul Shields too). Aimee did a great job of hooking it up and designing it so make

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1129741651126327152005-10-19T09:38:00.000-07:002005-10-19T10:07:31.150-07:00

Ok, I'm going to tell you guys how I came up with the name "Paul and the Violent Farmers".I was drunk at the bar one night and my friend Amy says "Hey I have a great name for your act- Paul and the Violent Farmers". I was drunk so I probably would have liked any name anyone gave me, so I said I loved it and went to puke in the trash can. It has stuck with me ever since (the name not the puke).So

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1128705463116591712005-10-07T09:55:00.000-07:002005-10-07T10:17:43.130-07:00

My favorite holiday is fast approaching- Halloween.You might think that it's kind of a holiday for kids, but me I'm always to drunk to notice or care. This year I even have a party to go to instead of just dressing up and wandering the streets puking drunk.So here's where I need your help. I don't have a flippin costume!! Anyone got some ideas? I'm not afraid to offend anyone, so anything goes.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1128466810760812442005-10-04T15:10:00.000-07:002005-10-04T16:00:12.356-07:00

I'm back from Texas in one piece.Before I left on the 22nd of September, my mom called me to see what I was doing that weekend, and I told her I was going to Texas. I didn't tell her where in Texas or why, just Texas.She let out a shriek and cried " Texas is in a state of total devastation!!! Hurricane Rita!!! I thanked her for her concern and got off the phone as quick as possible.Despite my

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1128091561476445952005-09-30T07:46:00.000-07:002005-09-30T07:56:55.933-07:00

I'd like to personally thank the Paulster for singlehandedly moving my home recording ahead by leaps and bounds. Last summer Paul stopped by and "layed down some tracks" (as those of us who are hep enough to be in-the-know say) at my expansive home studio and engineering center, which used to be located in my basement, but was recently dissplaced by burgoning adolescence, i.e., my stepson needed

jagua piruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12866004968799940012noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1127348005015211602005-09-21T16:44:00.000-07:002005-09-21T17:21:27.796-07:00

I have been gone for a bit, and I apologize. It's been like three weeks or something since I last posted. My computer crashed, but now its up so I should return to my old posting ways.Last week I had my gig emceeing at Stanford’s Comedy Club, and it went great. I sucked at the actual emceeing part, but my songs went good. The owner of the club heard my act on Friday night, and loved it. He is

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1126715281271423052005-09-14T09:28:00.000-07:002005-09-14T09:28:01.356-07:00

I think I speak for a large contingent of fine folks out there when I ask: Where the hell is the "Too Tall" Paulio presence on this Blog (which, I might mention is his own darned blog!). I mean, there are farmers out here who need advice, need to feel free to write disgusting poetry, and need to see photos of celebrities that just don't appear on other sites. Where else would we have seen the

jagua piruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12866004968799940012noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1125595518851339112005-09-01T10:01:00.000-07:002005-09-01T10:25:18.863-07:00

I haven't posted for a couple of weeks because my computer crashed. In fact it's still not fully operational, so I'm writing this at work on my lunch break.Since I last posted I've had a couple of opportunities to further my Drunken Song Writing career.The first was an invite to open up for Dustin Diamond. That's right Screech from "Saved By The Bell", but it was going to be during the time that

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1124417077842697512005-08-18T19:04:00.000-07:002005-08-18T19:04:37.846-07:00

Hey friends and neighbors. Jeanne got us a promotional gig on the air. It's Loyola's community station, but the good news is that you can listen on line. We will be on from 1:00-1:30 P.M. on Saturday afternoon. That's this Saturday. The DJ will interview Jeanne and we will both play at least one song. Here's the link: http://www.WLUW.org Click on at 1 p.m. and there's a little icon

jagua piruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12866004968799940012noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1124347880559199082005-08-17T23:22:00.000-07:002005-08-18T15:37:08.546-07:00

I was reading through the Violent Farmer blog the other day, and I decided it needed a bit of historical perspective. I figured I needed to tell some stories from back when Paul drank a lot. I guess that doesn't make it much different than today though. Instead, I think I'll tell stories about when I used to drink a lot and laugh at Paul's drunken misfortune. My favorite times with Paul were when

Seamheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16281681151691962356noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1124214895747270102005-08-16T01:03:00.000-07:002005-08-16T10:57:50.166-07:00

I've been drinking so I've decided to do another "Ask a Violent Farmer"Scared of Running Out said...Every time I take a bottle down and pass it around, there is always one less bottle on the wall. I have a phobia of running out, but can't quit taking them down. What should I do?Dear Scared,Why do you keep your beer on the wall? Maybe it's just me, but last time I checked Wall Beer is not up on

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123878183431557472005-08-12T13:23:00.000-07:002005-08-12T13:25:35.126-07:00

The Hung & I. The only man with a head bigger than mine.

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123794169154763212005-08-11T14:02:00.000-07:002005-08-11T14:02:49.163-07:00

My wife, who may one day support me - after I finish this damn Karma Sutra manual, is currently visiting her mom in Austria. Yeah, yeah, I know what comes to mind: portly lederhosen-clad youth playing accordian and singing "Ya, Ya, Ya, Ich bin drienken bier". But that hasn't been her experience so far. Yesterday, she went to the Leopold Museum to see "The Naked Truth" art exhibition. The

jagua piruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12866004968799940012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123767663989993792005-08-11T04:17:00.000-07:002005-08-11T08:33:42.486-07:00

As some of you may know last year I was coerced into dressing up as Elvis and riding on a float in the annual Elvis parade here in Kansas City. As expected, once my costume was completely donned I looked like a 12 year old Asian Elvis. I thank the lord that I can't find any pictures to share with you of that particular experience.Well its Elvis parade time again, and (sorry ladies) I am not

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123604460019097752005-08-09T01:03:00.000-07:002005-08-09T13:23:52.756-07:00

Last night I was drunk and browsing through my e-mail, when I came across an anonymous message. Like I said I was drunk so there's a good chance it wasn't even my e-mail. The message was sent by someone who was in desperate need of advice, and after reading it I thought that this must be a sign that I should start an advice column right here on the blog. So if you are in need of advice just leave

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123210582063690592005-08-04T19:56:00.000-07:002005-08-04T21:09:40.203-07:00

This is Sue. Doesn't she looks like someone's sweet old grandma? What could she be sitting there waiting for? Is it:A) for some of her world famous chocolate chip cookies to come out of the oven.B) taking a break from knitting some knitty things.C) getting ready to go down to the Piggly Wiggly and get some evaporated milk.orD) waiting anxiously at the Bingo table with her lucky doll hoping the

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1123004528315930222005-08-02T00:46:00.000-07:002005-08-09T09:54:55.306-07:00

For my birthday this last weekend I went with some friends to an amusement park.It was hot.I mean really hot.Africa hot.Anyway due to the heat I had to pull over at various times to go in the bathroom and splash some water on myself. It was during one of these splash sessions that I noticed an odd habit that one of the fellow amusement park visitors had.Usually when I use the urinal I'll step up

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1122585861556790382005-07-28T17:14:00.000-07:002005-08-09T09:51:14.063-07:00

I just took three shots of tequila and looked at the calendar. Apparently today is "Lie to Me Day". I'm not sure what kind of calendar it is or who celebrates it, but I figure it's as good a reason as any to go drinking.Since I haven't got any pics for the Scavenger Hunt yet, I thought maybe this could be an interesting topic to comment on. I'm inviting you guys to comment and tell me the biggest

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1122401977599470362005-07-26T17:54:00.000-07:002005-08-09T09:55:26.543-07:00

Yes my birthday is Friday, thank you for asking.I hope to last longer than last year when I had a pinata filled with little airplane size booze bottles. I felt it my duty to down as many of them as possible, in as as little time as possible. I remember swinging at the pinata then waking up the next morning with the distinct feeling that I need to call up everyone that was at my party and

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1121979288570431272005-07-21T19:50:00.000-07:002005-08-09T09:57:18.033-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I think I was drunk.There was only one drunken Haiku entry turned in (by jagua piru), so I'm not giving out a haiku winner this week.I don't want to write everyone's name down, so I'm just going to list the top 5 points leaders in the Drunken Scavenger Hunt contest:howdy- 10 pointsjagua piru- 15 pointsskeeter master-18 pointsbovine bashers wife- 18 pointsbig

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1121232171575263582005-07-12T22:22:00.000-07:002005-07-12T22:50:08.556-07:00

At the moment I'm drunk, and I've decided to do a feature called-Women of Sports that I'm in Love With This is Sonya"The Black Widow" Thomas. I want to marry her, and not just because I'm drunk. I want to wed this woman, because she can eat 37 hot dogs (bun and all) in like 12 minutes. That's right I said 37 (give or take 3 or 4). In the world of competitive eating she has no match ( except that

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120871295697684952005-07-08T18:08:00.000-07:002005-07-08T18:11:57.346-07:00

This drunken scavenger hunt pic was sent in by Bovine Bashers Wife. This is an awesome unibrow. Notice how the unibrow is actually connected to his beard. I'd hate to see this guys back. Posted by Picasa

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120620494801029032005-07-05T20:28:00.000-07:002005-07-05T20:28:14.806-07:00

This is a picture of the "Slug on the Sofa Doll" I spotted on e-bay. Now that's a unibrow!-big daddy  

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120481396469554312005-07-04T05:49:00.000-07:002005-07-04T05:49:56.486-07:00

I'm not sure if this will offend anyone, but I thought this was a pretty awesome picture of "W". He's looking pretty hot with his unibrow. :) I thought it might be a good topic to write a haiku about, but I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with dumbass....maybe one of your regular bloggers can think of something. :) --Aim 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120111995780308122005-06-29T23:13:00.000-07:002005-06-29T23:13:15.783-07:00

Ok here is the picture that jagua piru sent in that I mentioned in the previous post. Maybe it makes more sense now. 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120088770278964122005-06-29T16:46:00.000-07:002005-06-29T23:10:55.443-07:00

This was sent in by jagua piru, who also says that: "I am going out drinking happy-hour margharitas after work today with my friend, Blanca, who is from Mexico. For that reason, I am submitting a drunken self portrait of Freda Kahlo, Mexican Painter." I must say that she is the queen of unibrows, it was an entity all it's own, so I decided to give jagua pira 5 points .But then I got this pic from

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1120009023009901222005-06-28T18:37:00.000-07:002005-06-28T18:37:03.040-07:00

Skeeter Master suprised me today, by actually sending in a pic of something other than Fat Elvis. Skeeter you get extra points for a chick with a unibrow, and then you trump that by having a chick with a gun. Great work. 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1119916645966308392005-06-27T16:49:00.000-07:002005-06-27T23:50:14.460-07:00

Scavenger Hunt RulesThe first ever Drunken Scavengerblog Hunt was a success. Great pics guys!! Here's the tally so far:Bovine Basher- 2 points (starfish pirate)Howdy- 3 points (gay pirate)Skeeter Master- 5 points (fat Elvis)Heather- 8 points (drunken Capt. Morgan)Wife of Bovine Basher- 8 points (scary

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1119914447377548842005-06-27T16:20:00.000-07:002005-06-27T16:20:47.380-07:00

Ummm... This was sent in by Big Daddy. Even though I don't know what he's reaching for, this is exactly what Drunken Scavenger Hunting is about. How did you know that naked goat frolicking would get you extra points? (15 points) 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1119913811099727672005-06-27T16:10:00.000-07:002005-06-27T16:10:11.106-07:00

This was sent in by skeeter master as a drunken eye patch scavenger hunt entry. I think this proves that I will except anything as an entry. There is no eye patch in this picture, just a fat Elvis. Good job skeeter- 5 points. 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1119654433023804822005-06-24T16:07:00.000-07:002005-06-25T06:14:47.953-07:00

Wow, nice Drunken Scavenger Hunting seamhead. 10 points

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10564016.post-1119586071435936782005-06-23T21:07:00.000-07:002005-06-23T21:07:51.440-07:00

This was sent in from wife of bovinebasher. Please don't ask me any questions about it, because I have no clue either. 

Violent Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05954599239392948081noreply@blogger.com10