Blog Daddy the Sweet Transvestite

Earth Calling Paul...

"Earth calling Paul. Come in, Paul. Do you copy?"

(Silence.)

"Violent Farmer this is Houston, we're having a hard time maintaining contact. Do you read us? Over."

(Silence.)

"Sir, we haven't received any communications from the Violent Farmer in quite some time. We think we may have lost 'em."

"Dammit, Jim I don't want to hear that kind of talk. Keep trying. I'm not ready to tell that boy's mother that we lost her son somewhere out there in cyber space and that you're tired of looking for him! Are you?"

"No sir! We'll keep trying, sir. Violent Farmer this is Houston, do you copy?"

(Static. Muffled screams. Whimpering.)

"Violent Farmer, we are picking up a faint transmission. Are you alright, Paul? Over."

"Mommy?" (Silence.)

"Sir, we established contact for a moment. We believe Captain Shields uttered the word 'mommy', sir."

"I was afraid of this. I saw this happen once during the Apollo years. Alien anal probe. Bastards. There's no hope for him now. He's damaged goods. He's on his own. Godspeed, Paulie."

"Violent Farmer, this is Houston. Uh, we just remembered we gotta be somewhere. I guess we'll see you around. Um, take it easy. Over."

(Static.) "Houston? Guys?! (Static.) Houston, I have a problem here. Houston?"

(Silence.)

"Well, you're no Lance Bass, but hey- when in Rome!...Which one of those appendages do I...OH!...Hello there Short, Green, and Slimy!"