Ok here is the picture that jagua piru sent in that I mentioned in the previous post. Maybe it makes more sense now. 

This was sent in by jagua piru, who also says that:
"I am going out drinking happy-hour margharitas after work today with my friend, Blanca, who is from Mexico. For that reason, I am submitting a drunken self portrait of Freda Kahlo, Mexican Painter." I must say that she is the queen of unibrows, it was an entity all it's own, so I decided to give jagua pira 5 points .

But then I got this pic from Howdy, of Salma , who doesn't have a unibrow here but played Frida in the movie, and because of the breast factor gets 5 more points than jagua piru.

Skeeter Master suprised me today, by actually sending in a pic of something other than Fat Elvis. Skeeter you get extra points for a chick with a unibrow, and then you trump that by having a chick with a gun. Great work. 

Drunken Eye Patch Results

Scavenger Hunt Rules

The first ever Drunken Scavengerblog Hunt was a success. Great pics guys!! Here's the tally so far:

Bovine Basher- 2 points (starfish pirate)
Howdy- 3 points (gay pirate)
Skeeter Master- 5 points (fat Elvis)
Heather- 8 points (drunken Capt. Morgan)
Wife of Bovine Basher- 8 points (scary swashbuckling cat puppet)
Josh- 10 points (clothes hanger sock hook hand pirate)
Seamhead- 10 points (one armed bandit)
Big Daddy- 15 points (goat frolicker)


We are moving on now, but you can still turn in Eye Patch pics for points. And before I announce the next scavenger hunt item, I'd like to announce the winner of the Drunken Eye Patch haiku contest:

My brother-in-law
he wears an eye patch, no lie
poor sucker one eye

-Howdy

It was a tough decision (I almost went with Diva's seagull poop one), but this one sounded kind of like a Shel Silverstein poem to me, so I drank a beer and said screw it Howdy wins.

Ok, now for what you've been waiting for the next **Drunken Scavenger Hunt Item**, and the next drunken haiku subject:

UNIBROWS

Yep you heard me, get drunk and send in your best picture of any Burt and Ernie lookin person or thing you can find (if not apparently a picture of fat Elvis will work)


Happy Hunting

Ummm... This was sent in by Big Daddy. Even though I don't know what he's reaching for, this is exactly what Drunken Scavenger Hunting is about. How did you know that naked goat frolicking would get you extra points? (15 points) 

This was sent in by skeeter master as a drunken eye patch scavenger hunt entry. I think this proves that I will except anything as an entry. There is no eye patch in this picture, just a fat Elvis. Good job skeeter- 5 points. 

Wow, nice Drunken Scavenger Hunting seamhead. 10 points

This was sent in from wife of bovinebasher. Please don't ask me any questions about it, because I have no clue either. 

seamhead I only have four words for you- great scavenger hunt picture. 

Friday's Deja Vu Show Review

I suck at reviewing my own shows, so luckily Travis wrote a great one up on his blog that you can get to by clicking on Big Thoughts, Little Man in my links column (you might even win some spam).
Skeeter Master also wrote some stuff on his blog that is supposed to be related to my show, but I'm still not sure how yet (if you are faint of heart, an expectant mother, or don't have a therapist, I would recommend that you stay away from this blog). If you do decide to tempt the fates and check it out please let me know what kind of disorder you think Skeeter has, because he definitely has something off balance.

Also I am going to announce the next Drunken Scavenger Hunt item and the winner of the eye patch haiku contest this weekend, so get your eye patch stuff turned in.

till then,
Keep Drinking, Hunting and Haikuing

This just in from Howdy for his Scavenger hunt pic. Howdy are you Captain Feathersword?  

This Drunken Eye Patch Scavenger Hunt pic was sent in by anonymous.  

This just in from bovinebasher. He gets extra Drunken Scavenger Hunt points, because I've seen him get drunk and wear this same outfit. 

This Drunken Scavenger Hunt pic was sent in by Heather. This gets extra points because it looks like Capt. Morgan is actually getting a refill on his drink while this photo was being taken. Drunk guys in eye patches rock  

Looks like Josh is the first to turn in a Scavengerhunt picture. In fact looks like he liked it so much he sent two. What kind of points should I give for this? 

II 

New Contest

Ok guys I admit it, my posting contest was pretty much a lead balloon, so I am going to try something new- A Drunken Blog Scavenger Hunt.
Yes you heard right, a scavenger hunt contest to beat all contest. With my new found ability to post pictures, I think this contest will be cool. This might suck too, but I thought I would at least give you guys something to do besides haiku (the haiku contest is still going by the way).

The Rules:
1) get drunk
2)get on line and find out what I've assigned you to find that week
3)get drunk again
4)go find the that thing I assigned you, and take a picture
5)call me and we'll go get drunk together
6)e-mail your picture to paulntheviolentfarmers@yahoo.com
7)drink some water so you don't have a hangover


When I get your scavenger hunt picture I will give you points based on creativity, drunkenness, and whatever else I feel like. The first one to 100 points wins, and don't worry about coming in late or missing a week, because I'll except late submissions. Anyone can enter, just don't bitch if you get crappy points.


The Prize:

A brand new cool as hell Paul and The Violent Farmers T-shirt customized to your liking.


Week One Subject:

Since I'm on this subject for some reason, your assignment for week one, is to find someone or something with an eye patch and take a picture. Extra points if that something is a naked hot chick.


Good luck hunting and drinking

This is a picture of me from last night at Stanfords Comedy Club. It's a little smokey looking, because my brother took it while lighting up. Can you tell I'm wearing an eye patch?  

Check it out, I made it on to the big sign 

New Deja Vu Date

Ok guys I'm going to try again. I'm rescheduled to play at the Deja Vu comedy house in Columbia, MO (there is a link to a map on my website) on Friday, June 17th. Cross your fingers that old mother nature doesn't do me in again.

Also if your not doing anything tonight, I'm supposed to be playing at the Island Bar in Lee's Summit for a friends birthday.

ps- I haven't had very many drunken haiku lately, so I'm going to give you guys another topic- people with eye patches. Enjoy