Tipsy Haiku

Twenty-Two

Lindsay Lohan is
An obnoxious, drunken slut.
I think I like that.



Twenty-Three

Brittney Freakin' Spears
Is a bald, obnoxious slut.
I'm not into that.


Twenty-Four

Paris Hilton is
A tall, drunk, obnoxious slut.
That sounds about right!

Haiku-Guru

Twenty

A word of advice
Do NOT ever let a goat
Belch straight in your face


Twenty-One

I'm sure that Satan
Is having a lot of fun
With Jerry Falwell

New Haiku

Eight
Imus in the morn
telling it like it is to
nappy headed hos

PVF

Nine
Fat cops and hundreds
of cats. The things you see while
cleaning up meth labs

PVF

Ten
Braided Mohawk love
squeaky voiced hula dancer
vote for Sanjia

PVF

Eleven
If I were real old
I'd sit and remember when
cheese was called butter

PVF

Twelve
Clad in orange jumpsuit
catwalking down the lunch line
work it Miss Hilton

PVF

Thirteen
Rain glistens off trees
beautiful rainbows appear
Barry Bonds head is huge

PVF

Haiku For The Ladies

Six

Chugging down a beer
now only an empty glass
tears come to my eye

PVF


Seven

I wear husky pants
with an elastic waistband
all for the ladies

PVF

Get Your Haiku On

Eight

Samuel Adams
Brews a pretty tasty beer
For a dead person

Nine

I just watched a show
Called "World's Most Beautiful Twins"
I'm married to one

Ten

Paul needs to appear
On the "Bob and Tom Show" soon
He's their cup of tea

Eleven

According to Bill
"They say that a cucumber
Makes the best pickle."

Twelve

Things I've done while drunk:
Once, I lost a gamble fart
I hate losing those.

Thirteen

You can call me "Coach"
My son is playing t-ball
Weep for the future

Fourteen

I remember when
Paulie blogged every day
No wait, that was me

Fifteen

The most prolific
Haiku-er in the whole world
Drinks Boulevard Beer

Sixteen

Fat, drunk, and stupid
Is no way to go through life
Mister Blutarsky

Beer Goggle

Five
Hunchbacked and cross eyed
not enough booze in the world
to drink you pretty

PVF