Tuesday, September 04, 2007

And They Called It Puppet Love

This was an actual article writen for a dating web site, that was sent to me a while back. I decided to put this to the test and my results follow the article.



"Dating Tips of the Week" FOR March 26, 2000

How to Meet and Attract Single Women with the "Puppet Method"
This is probably the craziest dating tip of the week I've ever written. And please don't think I've lost my mind because of what I'm about to suggest to you as a great way to meet and attract single women for love and romance. So what is it?

Well, did you know you could meet single women like crazy by using a hand puppet? I know you're thinking, "what in the hell is he talking about? A puppet?"

Let me explain - Well, I've got a friend that uses what I call, "The Puppet Method" to meet single women in nightclubs. Here's how he does it:

1. First, you will need a hand puppet. You can buy them at your major toy stores such as Toys R Us.

2. Bring your hand puppet with you to a nightclub where there are lots of single ladies.

3. When you see a girl that you're attracted to, approach her and tap her on the shoulder lightly with your puppet and when she turns around raise your hand puppet towards her face and say something like this with your puppet, "Hi beautiful, would you like to dance with me?" Move your puppet up and down with your hand as you are saying your script just as if the puppet was really talking. And be sure to talk in a real silly voice.

What happens next? She's going to die laughing and think that you are so funny. Plus, you will make a very favorable impression on her because women love a guy with a sense of humor. And, of course, she will most likely dance with you.

I know this method of meeting single women seems a little silly, but try it. It works like a charm for my friend and it can work for you too.

P.S. You don't just have to use the "Puppet Method" in nightclubs to meet and attract single women. You can use your hand puppet anywhere to talk to women. Believe me, they will be laughing so hard they can hardly stand it!

Be sure and visit: http://www.getgirls.com/manchap.htm - for four FREE chapters from our best-seller called, "A Man's Guide to Women." This is probably the best book ever written on understanding women and how to deal with them.




TESTING THE METHOD




Hey guys I tried the "Puppet Method", and I wanted you to know that it does work. Here’s what happened:

I was drunk at the bar when I decided that I would test out the "Puppet Method". It was late, I was drunk, and the "Ogling Your Breast" method wasn’t working, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

The problem was that I had forgotten my puppet at home that day, so I went to plan B. I made a fist and drew a funny face on the side. I then fashioned a pirate hat out of a napkin and taped it on top of my hand. I do a great funny pirate voice, so I knew that a pirate puppet was the way to go.

I then went up to the first girl I saw and put the "Puppet Method" in to action.

Step #1.

I put my fist pirate up by her head and tapped her on the shoulder.

Step #2.

When she turned to look I moved my pirate fist in an up and down motion,

Step #3.

And in my funniest pirate voice said "Arrrrr lassie Ye be beautiful, would Ye care to dance Arrrr".



She did not laugh hysterically.

Apparently she had been in a wood chipper accident when she was little, and had a hook for a hand. Because of this she thought the whole pirate thing was making fun of her hand. I immediately went to plan C. I told her that it was not a pirate puppet at all, but an Australian puppet with a rain hat.

She laughed hysterically

She then grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. Everything was going good until she decided to rub her fingers through my hair while we were dancing. The problem was that she had a hook for a hand and didn’t have fingers. It was hurting my head so I asked her to stop, but she wouldn’t (apparently hook hand girls don’t get a lot of dates). I could feel blood start to clump up in my hair, so I asked her again to stop, this time in my funniest Australian rain hat puppet voice.

She laughed hysterically,

She tried to move her hook hand, but it had gotten stuck in my shirt collar and imbedded deeper into my skull.

Later on when I arrived at the Emergency Room, I checked in at the front desk. The nurse gave me some paperwork to fill out, and told me she would call my name when they were ready. On the way back to my seat I noticed that the children’s ward was having a puppet show.

I laughed hysterically.



So you see the "Puppet Method" does work, and if it hadn’t been for that damn hook hand I think I would have gotten laid too.




1 comment:

TheNotQuiteRightReverend said...

You are a sad, funny little man aren't you.

Good to see you're still alive and blogging. Sorry I'll miss out on taking you poker money this weekend. (I am going on a float trip. Here's the scene: Two coolers full of beer and a chick that likes to show her fake boobs. I'm going to try to get my wife to ask her if she can feel them. You know, to see if she would want a new pair.)