I was just asked by someone to write a song about her moms extremely large nipples.
I immediately started thinking the exact same thing you guys are- "Is your mom single?"
Apparently the mom nipples are large in length not diameter, with a span of maybe an inch and a half. At first I thought it was kind of weird that she had this fascination with her moms body parts, then I thought "Hey that's kind of hot", then I thought "Hey that's kind of creepy", and then finally later on that night by myself I thought it was kind of hot again.
She says she wants me to record the song so she can play it for her mom, but I don't usually write requested songs. I usually just get drunk and write about love. I'm not even sure how to start writing a song about extremely long mom nipples, and even if I did I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be all that flattering. Let's say I do write this nipple song, is it ok to ask for pictures? You guys got any ideas? What rhymes with nipple?
I apologize for any discomfort this post may have caused
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8 comments:
Reversed dimple?
"Don't gimme no lip,orI'll..."?
Milk dribble?
Pimpl... no, too obvious.
Thats great, milk dribble is for sure going in the song.
"Don't squeeze the Charmin" said Mr. Whipple,
What would he have said if he'd seen your mother's nipple?
Did you check out the tunes goddess?
If your mom was a waitress living on tips,
She'd make more money stirring drinks with her nips.
Wow!! I do believe we have a song.
Paulie, do Kom, Jagua, and I get "written by" credits for this one on the CD? We want that and Violent Farmer T-Shirts. As Captain Picard would say, "Make it so, Number One."
You’ve got the longest nipples anybody’s ever seen, they’re the dial’s that you spin on your mighty milk machine.
Your nips are long vs. large if I get the jist, like the index finger on a midget’s fist.
1 point 5 inches is as long as it gets, should be in the Guinness Book of Records for the extensions on your tits.
You oughta carry eye insurance in case you make cripples of people getting poked in the eyes by your long long nipples.
Something to grab onto when you’re reaching from the back like a set of handle bars on the front of that rack.
You can report cold temps before the weatherman, with built in thermometers popping from your cans.
I’d look you in the eyes if you’d get those out of mine, but if you don’t care, then I think that’s just fine.
Like an all day sucker you can lick and lick and lick, poke me in the eye like a sharp-pointed stick.
In short, there’s nothing short, they’re just freakishly long, but they’re really something special and deserving of a song.
-howdy
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