My Drunken Haiku Corner

For those of you who were asleep during the haiku chapter in school, I will give you a quick lesson (for those of you who were awake- why?)
Haiku is some sort of ancient Asian poetry (Japanese maybe? Who knows?), that is made up of three lines. The first line has has five syllables, seven syllables on the next line, and five again on the last line. Pretty easy.

A couple of years ago I was drunk at a bar with my friend Amy, and in our drunken stupor we made a pact to write a haiku each day and e-mail them to each other for one year. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but then again we were drunk.
It sucked. We made it for about two weeks, before we decided to just do seven haiku at the end of the week instead of e-mailing one each day.
One weeks later we decided to cut our year down to six months, and to just e-mail them when we had time.
Two weeks after that we decided to just stop and spend more time at the bar.

Any way the other day I was at the bar again and after Amy hit me in the head with an ash tray I decided that maybe I should spend more time writing haiku.

I thought I would post one here every week, and then let you guys post your own in the comment section. I'll pick the best haiku from your responses and post it here the following week, and then in two months or so I'll give a prize to the best one. Also this is drunken haiku, so if you screw up on syllables or slur your haiku it still counts.

If this sucks or I decide to just start drinking again I'll let you know.
Here's my first one, enjoy:


The Good Life
whacking off all day
throwing dung at everyone
monkeys got it good